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Area Woman's Skincare Routine Now Takes Longer Than Her Commute to Work

Morning beauty regimen clocks in at 47 minutes, experts concerned about productivity implications of 12-step facial protocols.

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Local Gym Membership Achieves Sentience, Demands to Know Why Nobody Visits

Fitness center subscription gains consciousness after years of neglect, files lawsuit for emotional abandonment.

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Study: People Who Breathe Air Live Longer

Scientists make stunning discovery about breathing

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